They look harmless. We throw them in our smoothies and with some whipped cream they are just simple and divine. However, a banana Ayurvedically pimped up becomes a true yellow killer in disguise.
You sure want to know what happened. Make sure you are not eating while reading. I still feel sick thinking back of my first banana treatment.
For people in a rush, not into long b***sh*t stories, or on a deadline preparing for Ayurvedic India go immediately below to: ‘ Key Essentials prior to leaving’
If you are just interested in generic Ayurvedic treatments, Pancha Karma and funny India stories, not into bananas, menopause, infertility and female talks about their desire for a baby: Tap in tomorrow again.
So about banana……
Did I really had to go bananas and could I not stay main stream instead?
It is not that one day I woke up and that from one day from being a control freak, I became Catherine Blanchett in Lord of the rings believing in the powers of Nature. To get me there life had to shake me up.
After 5 years of trying to get pregnant with la creme de la creme doctors in France ( No 1 for me Dr Olivennes) Belgium and Spain, I felt plainly miserable of the hormones. After 12 inseminations, 3 Invitros and 2 eggcell donations the world of western medicine started to fall apart and the alarming bells ringing loud and clearly in my ears at the age of 40.
As an intermediate step, I gave the benefit of the doubt and listened to an appearantly big share of my friends hanging on to the idea that unsolved emotional issues block pregnancy. Just to take it out from the checklist ( and not to have to listen to my friends anymore) I did several sessions in France for my french friends and in the Netherlands for my dutch friends. While I was at it, I even got under hypnosis and also read and listened to all tapes of Julia Indichova. This just to rule out any dirty business blocking me. If you going to follow along, I hope for you guys at this stage you will indeed be pregnant. Especially the Julia Indichova stuff is good. But for me, besides the positive side effect of at least slightly becoming a more bearable person, it did not result in getting pregnant.
I heard vaguely about Ayurveda and Maharishi. Some people in my family proclaimed it helped them with side effect of chemo/radiation and cured eczema and gout. Out of courtesy I showed my interest, but I was not at the least convinced as it was too much floating in the air to me. Feeling your pulse and adjusting some food habitats can cure diseases? You got to have better than that. Next
Actually I realised soon, there was nothing next according the doctors. It was simply a matter of time to get desperate enough to pick up the phone and call India.
My first banana treatment
I figured out, after some puzzling, who the original doctor was of Maharishi Ayurveda and called his office. A lovely person on the phone Ananda explained me that best for me would be to come to India as the herbs were better, see the Dr Raj JR and do the banana treatment. I double checked, did (s)he say bananas? Two months? I was ready but not crazy.
I politely explained that I hardly had time to go to the supermarket to fill my fridge and buy bananas, imagine 2 months in India for a banana treatment.
As a second option she advised to go to the Maharishi Ayurvedic Clinic in Germany to see the nephew of the family who could give me banana as well.
I googled about banana treatments, but aside of some not very convincing pictures, short descriptions and few phrases; ‘ It was great’, I did not get very far. BTW, as I discovered later, indian doctors have a total different way of answering the How and the Why that we have at this stage. I will try to find the answers for you. Avoids you to unnecessary worry. But not in this todays blog. I am getting too long already……
With Bananas it is all about timing. The banana should only be taking the first 3 days of my cycle.
( Unless you are on menopause – it helps apparently for menopause too. You should take it then at any date that you had you first day of cycle in your life. So start to remember it for later. For when the hot flashes will come. Banana enhances male fertility too. They can luckily take it at any date. )
I was hoping badly it would fall in the weekends as timing was so bad….And of course it did not. Thank God, halleluja, my boss, one of the rare species in the universe of fashion, aware of my situation, warmly wished me to have a baby, helped me out and I could still go… here I was in 65+ Bad Ems with a laptop in my bed ready for my banana.
How does it work?
The banana treatment is an ancient several hundreds years old treatment based on herbs and developed solely by one family, the Raju’s. The treatment claims special beneficial effects on the reproductive female/male organs, menopause and cures infertility. I repeat. Not helps but CURES, so they clearly state. The treatment can only be done by a Raju family member. In my case Vaidya Kalyan, who moved with his family to Bad Ems and knows the secret recipe.
BTW: Not essential but I have to say that the first time I saw the vaidya I immediately spotted his incredible eye white. Something I usually never pay attention to. The eyewhite of the vaidya was so out of the ordinary, extremely white, like an optic white I never have seen before ( I work with designers so I have seen some dozens of optic whites passing along, can you imagine)….But something typex like. Not even the illegal-not available in Europe – American eye white drops get any close to this. The first time I was ayurvedically impressed. Not very spiritual, I confess, but if I don’t get cured at least I am going to get drop dead stars in my eyes.
This is how it works ( the banana treatment, not how to get the typex sparklings eyes):
- Inform a few days before when you think when you period will start. (The 5 * clinic is well organised and very clean, -what else to expect from a german clinic- and will hand you out all instructions.)
- Arrive the day before the period at location, ask if you have to bring your own bananas of if they provide ( My period came so sudden, I could only arrive in the morning of my first day. Note: the first day with flow is the most important one. If you have flow you can not buy bananas as you would ‘contaminate’ it)
- The next morning, don’t eat prior to the treatment and also limit drinks
- One hour prior before the banana dont speak, dont drink and take a shower
- Go to see the Vaidya to take the banana. Dont speak to the Vaidya or anybody else and dont touch him ( you are not considered ‘clean’ those days). Wise to bring a paper and pen just in case you have to ask something.
- Take the banana in your mouth and swallow it without chewing. Dont worry, It is very small, less than a small grape. It has some magic yellow powder on it so it should be easy to get down.