Waking up this morning was not that easy. I went to bed at 4am. Not very Ayurvedic as you should be in bed by 930 pm and alive and kicking again at 530am. But how to say. I was not feeling my “too fast to live too young to die” go-getter usual self. On the contrary I felt besides this annoying agony, clearly clue less, which I hate ( what am I doing? Am I doing the right thing). What is the point of going 200 miles per hour if I don’t know if the direction is right?
Somebody told me over the phone a few days before that sometimes you should just pray to God or if you are agnostic put the question out there in the universe and ask for a clear signal. I was walking outside. I stopped. I closed my eyes and from the bottom of my heart I pulled out my question. Not anymore the usual question, if I was gonna have a baby, but just a signal if I should continue unstoppably believing or accept things as they are now and live my life as it is ( that was not like living in a gutter so not a cruel option either) and have myself surprised with whatever will happen. I opened up my eyes and the first thing I saw, was a graffiti on a wall, saying ” you and I see tomorrow”. I just finished my period so I could not be pregnant nor was I gonna be on a fertile day tomorrow. This answer did not make sense, I went even back to be sure if I read it right, which ” yep I did” and decided to move on, probably the answer would come later today.
By the falling of the night, my mood as well was ready for a sunset and to shut down the unbearable light. I called the same person and said that her advice was not working and no signal came in that day. After some talking if my question was clear “yes it was” if it was specific ” yes it was”, she wisely said that perhaps now that I raised the question, I should learn to let it go and have it work it out on its own time. “Trust in trusting”. Clearly something that me as pragmatic control freak did not like but I was forced to do. Already as I kid when my mother was putting me to bed and did her good night pray, I was totally feeling “big brothered” by the idea of God watching me, and I wanted to have the “contact” on my terms and asked my mother: ” If sometimes I don’t want him to look at me, do you think he will leave me alone?”. This whereas my brother at the age of 4 on the street joyfully looked up and screamed it out “Hey God, are you there!” Last night, with no clear signals getting me out of the mud, music was the only one understanding me (my good old fix). It was “read all about it”of Emeli Sande all night long, at repeat ,on you tube. I listened non-stop till 4am when simply my batteries gave up on me too.
Today I woke up on a sunday “morning” ( I confess: not at Ayurvedic 530 am) and as a true virtual addict, first thing I did was opening up my email Inbox and there it was a message from a friend, whom I did not spoke with for a while, sending me a picture of a banana on a “poubelle” ( which means trash can, but she lives in Paris and it sounds more poetic in french) with “illuminati” written on it ( meaning enlightened in italian/latin) to tell me to keep on shining and to not give up. I dont know why but all of the sudden it alll fitted as puzzle. The graffiti telling me ” you and I will meet tomorrow” was here in my inbox. It was exactly what I needed and the question to my answer was there, very clearly: keep on believing and to put my courageous out there again and “SHINE”. So keep on sending me your pictures, you might be guided by the universe to deliver a message.
If you are interested in the ways your instinct/God/the universe or however you want to call it, is trying to get you a message check this link or read below a few indications of another site that I checked out after writing this post: “You’ve got mail” from the universe if you have:
- A gut feeling that just won’t go away (what is it telling you? We are drilled to follow our parents our ration, the media, but there is got to be a reason why we have this very imposing gut feeling now and then)
- Song lyrics that keep coming up: in your head, in the car, on your mp3 player ( or for me on youtube yesterday night)
- Dreams carrying messages or suggestions ( when you wake up write it down immediately, strangely after few minutes we totally forget them)
- Books or blog posts that speak directly to where you are in your life (Maybe todays blog haha!)
- You overheard a conversation that you swear was meant for you
- A sense of inner knowing that something is true, even though it feels completely crazy
- Synchronicities occur – it seems the Universe is lining things up to work just for you
- ( or just wait for a signal after you asked a very specific question directly to the “universe” yourself)
Have a nice sunday and keep your eyes and ears open today!